


Invisible

by SeachelleTheTideborn



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Adorable gay neighbors, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Bullying, Clothed Sex, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhaustion, F/M, Falling In Love, Halloween Costumes, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Quickies, Recovery, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 12:27:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14213154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeachelleTheTideborn/pseuds/SeachelleTheTideborn
Summary: Lorraine was bullied badly in middle school, mainly by her crush Jesse. Years later, she joined Overwatch and attended a Halloween party dressed as a saloon girl. She hooks up with McCree but doesn't find out until after they are intimate who he really is. Now she has to protect him and bring him to her home after remaining Deadlock members rise up and claims he is a traitor. Meanwhile, he has no clue who she is. Will he find out?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was sorta based on what happened to me in school. I figured I'd turn it into a fanfic.

_Trust the one_  
_Who's been where you are wishing all it was_  
_Was sticks and stones_  
_Yeah, the words cut deep but they don't mean you're all alone_  
_And you're not invisible_  
_Hear me out,_  
_There's so much more of this life than what you're feeling now_  
_And someday you'll look back on all these days_  
_And all this pain is gonna be invisible_

\- Hunter Hayes: Invisible  
https://youtu.be/VyELdfCLn9I

...

She wasn't very popular in school, she was picked on... A lot.... Bullied to the point of abuse. She didn't talk much to anyone at all but she had a major crush on someone who was in all of her classes and just happened to sit beside her in each one. Thank God for assigned seats; Jesse was gorgeous and yet always looked badass.

She always had a weakness for cowboys.

She had approached him after school one day, finally having the courage to confess her feelings to him. She haven't been brave enough to talk to him before but he always seemed to be talking to people near her. As the class clown, he was also hilarious. She started having a bad feeling once she started walking toward his locker where he was standing with several other.

'Lorraine, don't do this,' she thought silently, 'No, you have to do this. The worst he can sure is "no" or that he isn't interested.' 

She waited until he was mostly alone, despite the bad feeling squirming in her belly, being as popular as he was he was never completely alone. It was now or never. It was a moment of hesitation, that nagging voice of doubt making her pause, then she shook it off determined to follow through. She tried hard to keep her voice steady as she admitted to her feelings out loud, it would have been easier without other people staring at her. There was a loud silence for a few minutes once she was done and then Jesse spoke; the words coming from his lips like knives. 

"I don't date ugly chicks," it was a sneer, with contempt on his face. His friends grinned at her as if there was some joke they knew and she didn't.

She tried to hide how heart broken she really felt. The first guy she had ever liked turned her down with such mean words when simple 'no' would have been just fine. Adding salt to the wound, it was in front of several people. She turned and left, carefully slow and deliberate, trying to hide her dismay and not give them more ammunition than they had already.

It was not surprising that the bullying became worse as word got out that she had a crush on Jesse. Telling the teachers about it just made it even more unbearable. She spoke to her parents, they knew about it but they thought she was exaggerating a lot of it, even when she had the bruises to show. They insisted she keep going to school, despite her staying in her room almost constantly.

It was starting to get overwhelming, groups of people kept mooing at her or barking when she passed in the hall or they gathered around while she tried to eat lunch. Then the camel's back finally broke... gum was put in her hair. She did not know until it had been there for hours, already hopelessly tangled, at the end of the day she happened to hear a group of popular girls cackling about how Jesse had "put gum in that ugly girl's hair". Getting home could not come soon enough.

Today she was home alone, she checked, it seemed both her parents were having to work late. 'Good,' she thought wickedly, for that was the only way she could keep up the courage to do both arms... from wrist to elbow. 

She slumped over her knees in the tub, silently mad at herself but the tears that flowed were some of everything. She heard the front door and just cried harder, someone was home. They found her in time and rushed her to the hospital, not blaming her and not asking questions just trying to make sure she was alright.

Her long hair had to he cut very short after the gun was unable to come out any other way. School did not seem bad at first, it was easy enough wearing long sleeves. Gym however did not allow her to hide the marks.

The bullies sneered and jeered, Jesse himself called across the room after his cliche filled him in.

"Oh darlin looks like you didn't try hard enough!" After that, homeschooling started, it was immediately easier without other people. With a psychologist and medications, she slowly starting to heal from the nightmares of being pushed down stairs and having gum thrown in her hair, but out of everything his words were the worst. 

She made a decision, to make sure no one here would hear from or about Lorraine Belle ever again.

...

Years later

...

"Rain?" Angela looked into the medical lounge and found who she was looking for, "Rain, there you are."

"Need me for something?" Rain asked looking up from her book.

"Just to see if you were coming to the costume party next week," Angela sat next to her with a hopeful expression on her face.

Rain raised a brow, "I suppose I can come. I just don't understand how Overwatch can have a Halloween party when something could happen. Having to report somewhere in costume would not be very professional."

"Now, don't think like that," a new voice pipped up, it was Gabriel. Leaning over the back of the chair, energy drink in his hand he continued, "There will be karaoke. We know you love to sing and you're voice is amazing......"

"It's not often Overwatch and Blackwatch are able to relax and have fun." Angela always sounded so cheerful, it was hard to turn her down, "So, is it a definite yes?"

Gabriel whispered behind her, almost sing song to entice her, "Kara~oke........"

"Fine, fine! I'll come." Rain rolled her eyes and huffed. Singing was the one thing that relaxed her. The others she worked with happened to hear her one day when she was stressed and trying to get her mind off of it. Ever since there have been requests for her to sing when they were on a break or at lunch. It became something that relaxed everyone else as well, "As long as I get to sing in the karaoke part."

"Deal!" Gabriel hefted himself back up and left.

It had been quiet lately. Everyone was severely stressed, it would be good to relax at a party. Rain sighed and tried to remember the various costumes she had, it was no use she would just have to sort through them all when she was off.

That night she started sorting through the closet, most of them were old Western themed. They were her favorite after all, corsets with ruffle edged skirts and a garter, she had grown up steeped in western movies and shows after all. It seemed like she had been looking for an hour, really it was about 15 minutes, before she found the one she wanted. The one her father never liked, not that he could say anything since she had bought it as an adult. The sweetheart neckline of the corset was flattering and revealing without being too much, adding to the flattery of the kilted up skirt.

After work the next night she invited Tracer and Mercy over to show them the outfit. When they both raised their brows and looked at each other Rain had thought maybe they didn't approve of it. She was thinking over a plan B in the silence that stretched until they both suddenly started praising her outfit of choice.

"You must have a gun on your thigh when you wear it!" Tracer said, clapping her hands happily and bouncing, "You would look amazing!"

"She's right!" Mercy agreed beaming.

"Well, I do have a .45 Long Colt and a thigh holster," Rain admitted as relief washed over her mind.

"You will almost match the cowboy in Blackwatch, but he is just wearing his normal everyday clothes." Mercy sighed, "Gabriel tried talking him into wearing a costume but he refused."

Rain's eyes lit up, "I didn't know there was a cowboy."

She had a major weakness for cowboys, God help her. Considering her age now, she did want to hook up with someone. She had never had the opportunity to experience hooking up with anyone and regretting it in the morning, maybe she would have a chance to do that, though hopefully without the regret. After joining Overwatch, she started taking birth control to regulate everything, so she was protected. There were several rather handsome guys in Overwatch, any of them could be a possibility. There was always a mission here and there where lives can be risked and not knowing if her time would end in one of those missions she wanted to at least die without her virginity. She wanted to live at least some before the end.

...

Rain looked into the mirror and struck a few poses, loving the way the pink corset fit on her. The matching skirt flowed down behind her, the front short and open. The stockings made her long legs look even sexier than before. The shoes she would end up taking off before the night was over. Gloves on, strapping her gun to her thigh, her saloon girl outfit was almost complete. The black feather was clipped into her hair and she was off to the party. Her look was sexy but classy at the same time, leaving just enough to the imagination. The party had already started when she walked in, loud music accompanied with the terrible vocals of someone already at the karaoke stage.

"Rain! You made it!" The voice made her turn to see Jack, "I didn't think you would come."

"Surprise," Rain gave a smile.

"Your outfit! Angela said it was amazing, and I know somebody else who will think so too," Jack's smile was a bit mischievous. She changed the subject. "Gabe mentioned you were singing."

"He promised to let me do one song!" She smiled, "Where is Miss Mercy at?"

"Near the stage, waiting for you."

"Thank ya!" Rain happily walked over to where Mercy was sitting, "Miss Mercy!"

"There you are!" Her voice was cheerful and definitely did not match her witch costume, "I was beginning to think you had changed your mind!"

"I couldn't disappoint you like that."

Looking the woman over, the witch outfit was artistically beautiful and made Rain blush. But it didn't last long when Gabriel appeared out of no where. The jack-o-lantern head caught her off guard for just a second.

"Rain, Rain, Rain! I was expecting a scary costume but this... Dios... This fits, it works! You're after the next three songs."

A quick snack was devoured with some punch that she had to pick gummy eyeballs out of. Munching on some candy, Rain lounged next to Mercy and watched the others.

"So, Rain. What song are you going to sing?" Angela asked, chewing on the gummy eyeball that had been floating in her cup.

Rain smirked, "Something that fits my outfit."

"Oooh, can't wait!"

"I'll make the performance extra sexy just for you." 

"Don't let me down, Rain." Angela gave a joking wink to her friend and laughed with her. The two picked on each other as if they were flirting all the time. It confused others and it was highly amusing.

Her turn in the karaoke line-up came and she happily jumped up on the little stage and began singing, moving her hips and sexily while performing. She made sure to sing in the most sensual voice she could manage.

_"He's a good time cowboy Casanova_  
_Leaning up against the record machine_  
_He looks like a cool drink of water_  
_But he's candy-coated misery_  
_He's the devil in disguise_  
_A snake with blue eyes_  
_And he only comes out at night_  
_Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight_  
_You better run for your life"_

She saw the guy on the other side of the stage, the one Angela and Tracer had mentioned. She hadn't seen him around yet but now she very much wanted to meet him. He was alluring but somehow seemed slightly familiar. Maybe she had seen him around Overwatch before...

_"Run, run away, don't let him mess with your mind_  
_He'll tell you anything you wanna hear_  
_He'll break your heart; it's just a matter of time_  
_But just remember he's a good time cowboy Casanova_  
_Leaning up against the record machine"_

Rain reached out and took his hat off of his head, putting it on her own while she sang. Of course she put it back but not before doing some more sexy moves for him. A part of her wanted to stop what she was doing and run. That thought was greatly ignored, she was having the time of her life. When the song was over, the cowboy was the first one to approach her.

"Howdy."

"Hey there, cowboy." 

She looked him up and down the same way he looked at her. Only his eyes were more intense, "Don't think I've seen you around here before."

"I'm sure you have."

"Pretty lil thing like you, I'm sure I'd remember."

The two made small talk which led to dancing with each other. That only led to kissing, which went straight into a full blown make out session. The two managed to leave and go back to his private quarters. 

She didn't even remember making it to the room, they were both so heavily focused on each other. 

The corset was undone enough for him to open it and focus on her chest. As much as he wanted her bare beneath him, the outfit was totally doing it for him. He wouldn't last long at all.

His chest pressed against hers when he kissed her. The cowboy’s hand dipped down into her panties. His fingers entered her and she whined delightedly into the kiss. He pulled away to look over her features, his fingers finding her clit and rubbing in slow circles. A blush touches her cheeks. She was still self conscious and unsure when he just watched her without looking away. Eye contact with anyone made her uncomfortable but his eyes were different. Rain could easily get lost in his gaze. It was intense yet she felt safe when he watched her. Is this how it was with everybody else? She wasn't experienced so she didn't know. Heat and tension twisted together in her belly. Her moans became higher pitched and her hips bucked harder.

"You gonna come for me, sugar?" His words pulled her over the edge and her climax hit her hard, leaving her whimpering, “Hmm, good girl.”

Watching her, he felt something in his chest. It was a feeling unlike any he had felt with the many women before her. He shrugged it off and continued touching her body, not wanting to get distracted from this gorgeous woman.

He slid her panties to the side, cock sliding over her clit, and her back arched upwards. His deep chuckle was dark and full of mischief and lust. It was sexy.

His manhood was placed against her entrance. Holding each other's gaze once more, that feeling rose in his chest again. The emotions he was feeling for this woman were nearly giving him whiplash. They had only just met, there was no way he was falling in actual love with her. He thrusts himself into her, a small scream escaping her lips. The cowboy was very still as he let her get used to his size, fingers working at her nub again, "Imagine the things I can do to you, if you will let me."

"M-maybe one day." Rain smiled at him, pulling him down for another kiss, one full of passion. Another orgasm took over her body and she screamed. It seemed he was talented in having orgasms sneak up on her. Eventually she would get him back, but not tonight. It was almost like he knew her body better than she did. He smirked, stroking her cheek and lips before his hand held gently against her throat. A gasp escaped her lips but she relaxed when the hand moved down over her chest. Such a touch seemed so intimate and loving, her heart started beating faster in her chest.

His teeth nipped her breast and his fingers did not let up on her clit. She felt another climax wash over her, making her legs tremble. He watched her eyes close. A gasp then she was gritting her teeth and moaning loudly. The cowboy felt his own climax, a deep growl in his throat followed by a warmth inside her. When he pulled out, the blood caught him off guard. He was silent, rolling them over so she was resting on top of him.

This woman was different than the others he had been with, and it wasn't her western saloon girl outfit either. Though that was what caught his attention at first. Simply being near her was refreshing and soothing. The feeling he got could not be put into words. Now she was in his arms, dozing off on his chest. Her scent surrounded him, some sort of tropical aroma. Her brown hair was soft to the touch. After it fell from the hair clip during their time together, he was surprised it just fell back into place. No tangles were able to be found. She was a change from the usual women he would sleep with. Most were curly haired blondes who would believe anything that was told to them. This one asleep on him didn't have gargantuan breasts and she did not have an annoying laugh. 

"Thank you for tonight." 

Oh, he had thought she was asleep. Apparently she had just been resting. Her breathing had slowed, it threw him off.

"You're welcome, darlin." He kissed her head, "You... Were a virgin?"

"I was..."

"Why with me?"

"Why not?"

"You should have told me." If he had known, he would have moved much slower. With this little bit of knowledge, he could have given her a much better time, to allow her to feel more. But for a virgin, she sure as hell knew what she was doing, "You seemed to be a pro at all this."

"I'm not a pro." She smiled up at him, "I just read a lot."

"Damn, I missed out on not dating bookworms in school..."

"You really did." They both laughed. Slowly, he moved in to kiss her. It was tender and affectionate, such a kiss was rare for him to give. "Oh... This is going to sound horrible... But..."

"Yeah?"

"I never even asked you your name..." She buried her face in her hands, "Oh my god, I'm terrible!"

"Not terrible, we were just distracted." Distracted in a good way, neither seemed to be complaining about that. Sometimes exchanging names could be left for later.

"My name is Rain." She sighed and looked up into his eyes, "What is your name, cowboy?"

"It's McCree. Jesse McCree."

Jesse saw the look of happiness and love in her eyes fade to one of pure hatred, loathing, and sadness. Rain jumped up and punched him in the face as hard as she possibly could, tears in her eyes.

"You bastard!" She screamed, "If I had known it was you, I would have shot you on sight!"

"Uh... A little commentary please? What'd I do?"

"You're a monster. Don't come anywhere near me ever again..." Tears streaming down her face, she adjusted her corset and ran. The door slammed shut loudly behind her, leaving Jesse baffled and heartbroken.

After that night, he was unable to find her. He searched high and low through each base to find her whereabouts. His mood change was so drastic, Gabriel had to bring him in and question him about it. He wasn't able to concentrate on missions or during meetings. Not only that, but he was skipping out on training. He needed him to have a clear head. The cowboy told him everything, asking for the Blackwatch commander's help.

"I hate to tell you this but if Rain doesn't want you near her, she might kill you if you try to approach her and I need you alive, boy." Gabriel didn't know much about Rain's past but he knew her as a person and she could be deadly in combat. Jesse was good with a gun but she was just as good, if not better.

"I have to see her again! I..." He trailed off with a grimace. It wasn't like him at all to say such a thing and it was going to kill his pride to admit it out loud.

"You...?"

"I... I have feelings for her. I've never felt so at home around a person!" He sighed. In his hands he held the feather she had worn in her hair Halloween night. It had been left behind in her haste to leave, "She and I just had this strong connection that I haven't felt before. It was like the feeling they talk about in those lovey dovey songs and shit."

"Then why does she hate you?" Gabe asked, one brow raised in confusion

"I don't know! That's why I need to find her! I hadn't even seen her before the party!" He seemed so desperate and hopeless, clutching the feather to his chest. Gabriel had saved Jesse and worked with him for a while now. He was able to say he had never seen the man in such distress before over anything, much less a woman. It was weird seeing him this way. The emotions were raw and glowing in his eyes with a ferocity that was so unlike Jesse. It was clear that he obviously cared a great deal about Rain.

"Alright, look." Gabriel pointed to McCree, "When I get the chance, the two of you will be forced to work together eventually. I'm not disturbing her work, nor should you be distracted from yours. So until the time comes, keep your head in the game or I will force it back into the game myself."

This was the best he was going to get. Jesse nodded in agreement and left the office in deep thought.

...

Rain could not sleep that night. When she would finally doze off, she just kept reliving her past. Days passed and Mercy noticed Rain had lost weight, her skin paler than before. All signs of depression were there but Rain never said a word. She just did the missions she was assigned to, came back, and went straight to her private quarters. The doctor tried talking to her but only received answers that she was fine, just tired. The worst was when she went on a mission and had to sit beside McCree on the drop ship. He kept fiddling with his gun which had his arm rubbing against her thigh. She wanted so badly to knock him flat on the floor but managed to keep herself under control. The next few missions were the same. It was damaging just being near him. It took everything in her to not start trembling from the horrific memories when he was near.

After a few months, the deadlock gang rose up once again. They sent several messages to Overwatch about McCree, they wanted him dead for his "betrayal." Sure he had information on Deadlock that Overwatch now had on record, but they would have been able to access that information easily without McCree. Rain rolled her eyes when she heard the messages, every one of them were immature idiots that couldn't talk right and clearly needed to go back to school and learn a wider range of vocabulary. Both Mercy and Gabriel spoke to each other before approaching Rain with the mission they were giving to her specifically. She needed a vacation and McCree needed sanctuary, a place Deadlock wouldn't find him. The mission, take McCree with her back to her farm home and keep him hidden there until things were taken care of.

"You have got to be kidding me..." Bring this monster from her past to her home?!

"We will pay you double, each day he is with you." Gabriel held his hand out, waiting for her to take the offer. It was double what she was making now and she was already making more than enough. Plus, she could make his life a living hell if he were to come home with her. Her best friend that was house sitting for her could help her torment the guy.

"Alright, deal." Rain took his hand in a firm shake then turned to leave, "Tomorrow morning, six o'clock. It'll take about seven hours to get there. He says one word, I'm wrecking my car off the side of the closest bridge."

She didn't give them time to agree before she turned on her heel and walked back to pack her things. How she was going to sleep with him in the same house as her, she did not know. 

The next morning, she was surprised when he was leaning against her truck. He was actually on time, great. That meant she couldn't use him being late as an excuse to leave him.

"I was surprised when they led me to a truck. If not for the little sticker on the back, I would've expected this to be a man's vehicle." He finished his cigar and threw it to the ground.

"Throw your shit on the back and get in."

He followed her lead and got into the truck. It was hard for him to keep his eyes off of her, it was so good to see her again. She started it and turned the radio on, hooking up her phone and bringing up a playlist. Then they were off.

Not even ten minutes into the ride, the tension was thick enough to nearly choke them both. McCree kept glancing at her, clearly wanting to say something but not wanting to test her patience. He did not recognize her one bit from school. It bothered her because he wasn't suffering now at all, she still had nightmares about him. Though the nightmares were every now and then, since she saw him again they were every fucking night. Did he honestly not know what sort of damage he had done to her? Rain tried forgiving everyone but it was so hard. When she thought she had succeeded, the nightmares came back twice as bad as before. She did say she wanted the experience of having sex with someone and possibly regretting it later. She didn't expect this though.

"So, darlin..." 

"Don't call me that."

"Look." He looked at her while she drove, "I don't know what I have done to make you hate me but I'm sorry."

"What happens when you drop a glass plate?" She asked as she stopped at the stoplight.

"It will break?"

"Say "I'm sorry" to the shattered plate. Did it fix it?"

"No..."

"Think about it." Her foot hit the gas when the light turned green, making him jerk back, "Words alone cannot fix something that has been shattered."

"But-"

"And take your hat off, if anyone in that God forsaken gang sees anyone in a hat like that, they will attack and if they damage my truck... Not even God will be able to save them... Or you."

Her words were very convincing and he had no doubt that she would kill every single one of them if her truck was even slightly scratched. Before he could say anything else, she turned the radio on and made sure it was loud enough she couldn't hear him.

Jesse McCree was so bewildered. With no clue as to why she just despised him all of a sudden, he just sat there and listened to the music. He was certain he had never seen her before unless it was when he was drunk. He would definitely remember someone as beautiful and unique as she was. Though her eyes were familiar, there was no memory of her at all before the Halloween party. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and leaned against the window. A nap seemed to be his only choice now.

When he woke up, he saw a bag on his lap. Inside was a soda, a cheeseburger, and a small bag of chips. Blinking confused, it was the barbeque flavored chips that he loved. Rain kept her eyes on the road and didn't look at him, "I tried waking you up but you were out like a light. So, I got you food at the gas station."

"Thanks, darlin."

The annoyed eyebrow twitch as adorable on her. It was best if he didn't say anything about it, he was already on thin ice. 

"You sleep like the dead. I was getting ready to call Mercy until you shifted and muttered something."

More silence. It wasn't so awkward now, nothing like before. He felt had to start some kind of conversation, to keep her talking.

"So, I'm supposed to hide out with you in the city until further notice?"

"City?" 

"You seem like a city girl."

"You're with me until they call me and say it's safe for you to go back. Your gang friend are fucking idiots, by the way."

"Whoa now! A pretty lady like you shouldn't be using such ugly words." The tone he spoke was one of concern and it was unsettling a bit. She wanted to be annoyed at him. How dare he tell her what she shouldn't be saying? Rain was damn proud of her colorful fucking vocabulary!

"Whatever."

"Sooo..." He tried thinking of anything for them to talk about, "What sort of people are your parents?"

"They're dead."

"I'm sorry, darlin..."

"It's fine." She snapped. Her parent's death was something she still could not talk about without getting upset. The memory of their bodies crushed haunted her and the smell was still strong in her mind.

"Can I ask how?"

All she had to say was the obvious. He didn't seem like the type to keep asking questions if a devastating answer was given, "Car crash, drunk driver."

"I... I'm sorry for your loss." Remorse filled his voice and his tone softened. As she expected, he stopped asking questions. It was quiet again.

Her eyes were getting tired and heavy but she was determined to stay awake. She wouldn't rest until she actually arrived home. To sleep in her own bed again would be heaven. To keep herself awake, she started singing. Focusing on the lyrics while she drove would often save her from falling asleep.

_"Hold my hand_  
_Ooh, baby, it's a long way down to the bottom of the river_  
_Hold my hand_  
_Ooh, baby, it's a long way down, a long way down"_

McCree was gazing out the window when she started singing. Quickly, he looked in her direction. He had heard her sing once at the Halloween party and her voice was purely angelic. But now, sitting beside her without any background music as she sang, he felt so relaxed and at home. His feelings for her were strong. It was heartbreaking that she didn't feel the same for him anymore. It was odd to him that he felt such a way. Jesse wondered if he asked her to sing for him one day, if she would do it or not.

"Halfway there." She announced.

It was nothing but land around them, they weren't driving in the city anymore. With the windows rolled down, the air smelled fresh and almost made him want to take another nap.

"If you are staying with me, you have to help around the house. No being lazy and watching television all day." Her tone was one a mother would use on a child, it almost made him laugh. He quickly agreed though, "But then again, a "city girl" like me can't possibly have much to do, right?"

"Gabe never told me where you actually lived."

"Good. Let's keep it that way. You fell asleep and had no idea where we drove to get where we are now. Let's keep it that way. The less you know, the less yer dumbass gang friends know." She snorted a laugh, "The less everyone knows, the better."

"That... Yeah, that didn't sound creepy at all."

Rain rolled her eyes and pulled the ribbon out of her hair, letting the wind whip it around, "I can't wait to get back home! I miss the breeze and the scenery. The ocean is within sight range, you might enjoy it. Mom used to take me to school, it took over an hour to get there."

"An hour?" He asked, "Let me guess, everyone else in the family went to this school so you did too?"

"Pretty much, until I was taken out and homeschooled. So much easier and quicker." She sighed, "Anyway, in my house you will eat what I cook, do what I tell you to do, go where I tell you to go. I say "jump" and you will ask how high. Got it?"

"Got it, ma'am. Your house, your rules."

"Thank you." 

She didn't feel bad for planning on bossing him around. The next few hours were quiet with her occasional singing. He began to doze off again when the truck pulled into a long dirt road which led to a beautiful two story house. Not too far from it was a big barn. 

"Finally, I'm home!"

"This is a farm! I thought Gabe said you lived in a city..."

"You don't listen very well. Now, get your ass out of my truck." She hopped out and grabbed her things. The bags were dropped when a man came running out of her house. He wore blue jeans and a button up flannel shirt, the white cowboy hat on his head had a thin band around it.

"Rain, darling!" He took her in his arms with a smile on his face, "So happy to see you back again!"

"Hey Jerry!" A kiss was pressed to his cheek. Jesse felt jealousy form in his chest. These two seemed rather close.

Jerry looked behind her at him, his green eyes looking him up and down several times before he finally asked, "Who is this?"

'Wouldn't you like to know, jerk...' He thought.

"This is Jesse. I have to keep him safe for a while. I'm being paid extra for it, so..."

"Oh, how exciting!" Jerry walked over to Jesse and held his hand out for him to shake, "Howdy, name's Jerald but everyone calls me Jerry!"

"Jesse." He took his hand in a firm shake, deciding not to tell him his last name.

Jerry had tanned skin, clearly he worked outside a lot. He wasn't as muscular as Jesse, nor as tall but he was rather handsome. Something about him seemed feminine. He was rather girly, Jesse knew some girls were into girly guys. Rain just seemed like she was more into manly men. He prayed they weren't together in any way. She had been a virgin when she slept with him, if these two were a couple then he wasn't one to be physical with her.

"Jerry is my friend and neighbor." Rain told him, "He lives in the house over yonder."

"Been takin' care of her place and mine while she was gone. Had a little bit of help though." He smirked with the most mischievous gleam in his eye. 

"Oh, God. Jerry, you didn't have sex with your husband in my house, did you?"

"Not _in_ your house."

Jesse burst out laughing, relieved that Jerry and Rain weren't a possibility together. He knew he would hear some good stories from this man.

"You didn't... Not the garden..."

"The barn..."

"Jerry, No!"

"It's just so romantic during thunderstorms! One thing led to another and... Well..."

"My horses are probably disturbed now, thanks. Those babies don't need to see anyone doing such things."

Rain sighed and Jesse managed to get his laughing under control. He pay the man's back with a friendly smile, "I didn't expect ya to have a little sugar in your tank."

"Jesse!" The woman nearly screamed.

Jesse continued to speak to the other man, "I can't wait to hear all your stories involving Rain."

"There are so many, let's wait and see then for a _Rainy_ day!" Jerry laughed.

"The weather forecast says it won’t _Rain_ for three months, but I drought it."

"Whaaat?" The pun war was getting hilariously intense between the two, "It was just  _Rain_ ing cats and dogs yesterday. There were poodles all over the road!"

"I'm sure it will _Rain_ buckets very soon."

Rain's eyebrow twitched, heavily annoyed with the two men in front of her, "Jesse, shut it and get yer happy ass in the house."

"Come on, darlin. Why you gotta _Rain_ on my parade?" He snickered, not wanting the pun war to end.

"Jesse! Inside!"

"Yes ma'am."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse is sexy and Rain is conflicted.

Jesse McCree woke up later than he usually did. He was so comfortable in the soft bed of the guest room in Rain's house. The cowboy hadn't slept comfortably in so long, since before Deadlock. Sure, his private quarters in Overwatch had a bed but nothing like this! In this one, he was able to sink down, nestle up and be surrounded by fluffy blankets and comfortable fluff. He had so much more energy this morning. Actually, he couldn't remember ever waking up and feeling this good.

Looking at the clock, he saw it wasn't morning at all anymore. It was one in the afternoon. Rain was going to murder him for sleeping so long, most likely. She would make sure it was a slow and painful death, too. Quickly, he got up and threw on some blue jeans and a black tank top. He wasn't going anywhere without his hat, so he grabbed that and put it on his head. On his way out he tripped a few times from being slightly disoriented. New territory always threw him off. Outside, the sun was shining bright and the wind was blowing gently. It was refreshing and the air had a slight salty smell to it. He vaguely remembered her saying something about the ocean. Behind the house, he saw the view of the sea she had mentioned. It was at the bottom of the large hill the house was on and he wasn't sure how he missed it last night.

Not to far from where he stood, he could hear music playing. It was a song he hadn't heard in a while.

_"One bottle of wine, two Dixie cups_   
_At three a.m. I fell in love_   
_For the first time in my life_   
_And that's somethin'_   
_That just don't happen twice"_

Jesse decided to follow the music since Rain was always where the music was. It became louder the closer he got. As expected, he found her truck with the radio on and the windows down. She was no where to be seen at all. This entire place was huge, it'd take forever to find her. He heard faint singing to his right and decided to investigate. Jesse recognized the smell of chickens the closer he got to her voice. What he saw caught him by surprise. She was leaning down where the baby chicks were inside under the heat lamps, a darker colored chick in her hands. She had on a cute white cowboy hat and a pink plaid shirt, tied just below her breasts so her belly was showing. 

God help him, she was wearing daisy dukes and pink cowboy boots... She would bend over to put down the chick she was holding, just to pick up another one. The baby chickens seemed to enjoy hearing her sing to them. Her fingertip would brush over their little heads and they would chirp along with her until she put them down. He was staring, unable to take his eyes off of her. If he didn't say anything, he would end up with a major issue of his pants getting tighter that he did not want to have at the moment. A quiet cough got her attention. She looked back at him and smiled sadly at him.

"Hey, you're awake." Her voice was full of sadness that made his chest ache. She looked terribly exhausted. 

"Sorry, I was so comfortable... I guess I slept a little late."

One of her eyebrows lifted, eyes narrowing, "A little? Well, this one time it will be forgiven. Here, take these."

A big basket of eggs was given to him with instructions on where to take them and what to do. He was rather happy with himself as he managed to actually comprehend what she was saying while he appreciated the way she looked. Rain saw his eyes while she spoke and very much wanted to crack an egg on his face but she managed to control herself and he nice to him. She didn't sleep at all last night and was cranky. Mix that with the feelings she was getting from the way he looked in the tank top, hat, jeans, and boots... She did not want to think of him as sexy. Not only did he look good but he was being so polite, aside from checking her out, even if he was being discreet about it.

'Damn his ass.' She thought, running to the horses for comfort. It was hard not to cry right now. The feelings she had were exactly the same ones she felt in school. She loved him but hated him. When it came to grudges, it was so hard for her to let go. Especially when it came to this. The scars on her wrists had faded a great deal, they were hardly noticeable. She had come such a long way yet the nightmares were still there, every night since she met him again. Jesse was so nice to her now. If she told him who she was, he would change and she didn't want that while he was staying with her.

A nudge caught her attention and she turned to see her white mustang staring at her with concerned blue eyes.

"Hey Celestial. Did you miss me?" She cuddled her face against hers, "I missed you so much, girl."

Celestial always made her feel better. When this horse was beside her, nothing in the world could stop her. 

"Lets go for a ride, k?"

...

Jesse finished with the eggs and once again began to look for Rain. He couldn't shake the feeling that her eyes somehow seemed familiar. It bothered him a bit but he didn't know anyone with the name "Rain" before she came along. He perked up when he heard galloping. Walking around the barn, he saw Rain riding a white horse. She looked like an angel and he was entranced by the sight of her.

"Uh oh, I know what that look means all tooooo well."

Jesse turned around to see a tall, muscular man. For a quick second, he thought he was looking at a wrestler or some sort of cage fighter. The man was very intimidating. The blue jeans and t-shirt he wore was rather tight fitting.

"You must be Jesse."

"I am."

The man held his hand out, "Name's Billy. I'm her neighbor."

"You're Jerry's husband?"

"I am."

"I'm assuming you're the top?"

Billy laughed loud, "How'd you guess?"

"Just a hunch. How long y'all known Rain?"

"Well, I'd say a few years before she joined Overwatch." He nodded his head for Jesse to walk with him while they spoke to each other, "She wanted to feel she was successful in something. Poor thing had a hard time when she was a teenager."

"Billy!" Rain came galloping up on Celestial and climbed off, giving him a big hug, "Thanks again for house sitting for me, you and Jerry."

"No problem, sweetie. It's the least we could do after you helped us."

"Please say Jesse didn't say anything offensive to you before I got here." She looked desperate and terrified, clearly having no faith in the Blackwatch soldier.

"Nah, not a thing. Jerry was right, he is hilarious." Billy popped a hand against Jesse's back and he nearly fell over.

'Hilarious, right.' She thought, "Well, I'm going to get Celestial settled and fed. Tonight, I'm cooking. Want to bring Jerry over and eat with us? Please?"

Billy recognized the uncomfortable expression she gave them. Jesse didn't seem like the type to force himself on others and he was a friendly guy, a bit blunt. He was good at reading people and he got a good vibe from McCree so Rain was in good hands, not that she needed protecting. She was strong enough to take anyone out if they were to try anything. But he did not like the thought of her being uncomfortable.

"Alrighty, we will come! Your cookin' is always amazing!" He agreed happily.

Jesse raised a brow, "She can sing, she can ride horses, she can cook. Is there anything she can't do?"

"Find someone to marry." Billy elbowed McCree.

That comment made him think. As beautiful as she was, the woman was still a virgin when he had first met her. She never spoke of being interested in anyone, seeming very interested in him until she found out his name. 

When Billy went back home, Rain went inside and started cooking. Any help from Jesse was refused. As much as he wanted to help, she nudged him away each time he would try. So he set the table. She didn't seem to mind him doing that, at least. He couldn't stop his mouth from watering at the smell of the fried chicken cooking. She had already fixed the turnip greens and mashed potatoes. Now she was in the midst of cooking macaroni and cheese while the chicken was frying. 

_"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene  
 _I'm begging of you please don't take my man  
 _Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene_  
 _Please don't take him just because you can_   
_Your beauty is beyond compare  
 _With flaming locks of auburn hair_    
 _With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green_    
 _Your smile is like a breath of spring_  
 _Your voice is soft like summer rain_  
 _And I cannot compete with you, Jolene"____

___And her voice, he was sure he wanted to marry this perfect woman. But first, he needed to find out why she didn't like him after she found out who he was. He had a bad reputation because of his Deadlock days but he never hurt women or children. That was the one thing that he was proud of, he never hit a lady. So it had to be something pretty bad if just his name set her off. Looking at her oddly familiar eyes, he always noticed they were so sad. When he first saw her singing, the only thing he thought was wanting to make them gleam with a bright sparkle. She would be even more beautiful with a happy spark in her eyes and a little bounce in her step._ _ _

___A knock on the door made him snap out of his thoughts just as Rain was bringing the food to the table. She walked to the door and opened it, instantly being swept up into a tight hug by Jerry then into another one by Billy. Jesse continued to bring the food to the table while she closed the door behind them. The couple waved at him when they entered the dining room. Rain was surprised when he pulled the chair out for her, she said nothing though. She said a quick prayer then everyone began to eat. It was an awkward silence that made everyone a bit on edge. The tension was so thick, it could have been cut in two._ _ _

___Thankfully Jerry broke that silence, "Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it."_ _ _

___Everyone at the table laughed, thankful for the smaller man's sense of humor. They all instantly started a conversation about movies that helped Rain and Jesse both feel a little less tense. The subject of movies led to that of television shows, which led to the subject of music, which only led to random small talk._ _ _

___"So how did you two meet Rain?"_ _ _

___Jerry smiled such a sweet smiled, "Rain stood up for us when nobody else would."_ _ _

___"She was in town and happened to be walking by when we were looking at a house. The owner said he didn't rent out to 'faggots' and was very rude to us." Billy looked at Jerry with love in his eyes._ _ _

___"Rain walked up and told the man off, saying he was a pathetic excuse for a human being. She said that no one deserved to be bullied. The whole town spoke horrible things about us until she came along." Jerry smiled at Rain, "When we couldn't find a house or even an apartment, she gave us a good deal on the house her family owns on the other side of the farm."_ _ _

___Jesse smiled and looked at Rain. She had such a good heart to help two people she didn't even know._ _ _

___"She helped us when we couldn't find jobs right away." Jerry continued, "She gave us food, blankets, anything we needed. Rain is such a caring person and we love her so much. We are thankful she is in our lives. So, we help her out as much as possible now."_ _ _

___Rain blushed and nervously pulled at her braid, "Guys, I did what a decent human being should have done. I didn't do that much. I never had friends, you two were the only ones I ever made before Overwatch."_ _ _

___After hearing she never had friends, Jesse wanted to know why she never tried to make any before meeting them. He assumed it had to do with her terrible past that was mentioned earlier that day. The four sat around and spoke about different things for a long time. All four helped clean up while joking around. It was around ten o'clock when they left. Rain locked up and stretched after closing the curtains. She looked even more exhausted than she had before but she felt satisfied after seeing her two friends._ _ _

___"Sleep now."_ _ _

___"Alright, good night."_ _ _

___"Yeah, nini." She ran up the stairs without looking at him. He followed and went to the guest bedroom. The fluffy bed was a beautiful sight, he wondered if Rain would let him take it back with him when the time came for him to leave. He wouldn't press his luck, she didn't like him very much after all. In the smaller bathroom, he washed off in the shower then threw on a pair of black pajama pants. He brushed his teeth and cleaned up after himself, making sure to hang up the towel he used. He was sure it was able to be used another night before it needed to be thrown in with the dirty clothes. It took him no time to fall asleep once he was ready for bed._ _ _

___Later, Jesse McCree opened his eyes and sat up on the bed. His hand rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Something didn't seem right. Assuming he just needed a glass of water, he got up and walked into the hallway. Before he could reach the stairs, he passed Rain's room and thought he heard... Crying?_ _ _

___Her door was opened slightly. When he glanced in her room, he could hear for a fact that, yes she was indeed crying. The sound made his chest ache with a crushing sadness. He slowly walked into the room and saw Rain crumpled over where she sat on the bed, clutching her chest._ _ _

___"Rain?"_ _ _

___No answer._ _ _

___"What's wrong, darlin?"_ _ _

___Still no answer._ _ _

___She didn't seem injured, she wasn't bleeding that he could see. Ever so gently, he sat down beside her on the bed. The cowboy was unsure of what to do. The only thing he could think of was to comfort her. He put an arm around her shoulders and she automatically leaned into his embrace, sobbing even harder. She was lost to this emotion, probably couldn't even properly register that he was even there._ _ _

___"I've got you." He whispered against her hair, "You're alright, darlin. You're safe, nothing can hurt you."_ _ _

___"I can't do this anymore..."_ _ _

___"Yes, you can. You can do this." He had no clue what she was talking about. He just decided playing along was what he needed to do for the moment._ _ _

___"It still hurts so much..."_ _ _

___Once again, he was unsure of what to say, "What hurts?"_ _ _

___"Those words..."_ _ _

___"Sugar, sticks and stones. You're better than them."_ _ _

___"Pleaaase, make it stoooop!"_ _ _

___"I'm not sure how, pumpkin." He nuzzled her hair, "Words cannot describe how amazing you are, okay? My life is better now that your in it."_ _ _

___Her hand clenched into a fist against his chest, "You're lying."_ _ _

___"I'm not, I promise."_ _ _

___McCree sat there holding her until she cried herself to sleep again. There was no way he was leaving her now. He simply held her, stroking her hair and whispering words of comfort into her ear when she would tense up. For the life of him, he could not figure out what had happened to her in the past that damaged her so badly. When the sun began to rise, he placed her down on the pillow and slipped out of the room before she could notice him. She didn't even mention what had happened when he came in her room to comfort her. The next few days weren't very eventful. He did hear her crying at night but now she kept the door locked so no one could get in. This day in particular, Jesse went into barn where one of the horses ran up to him and nudged him. It was the dark brown Clydesdale._ _ _

___"Eclipse! Where you been, girl?" He patted her neck and looked her over to see if she needed any sort of grooming, "Nice to see your taking care of yourself."_ _ _

___Rain did give him permission to ride the horses, all but her horse Celestial. Only she was allowed to ride him. McCree didn't question the bond the two had and soon became friends with this one after she started following him around when he fed her an apple. Clearly, apples were her favorite. Rain had been surprised, Eclipse didn't like anyone. But here she was following Jesse around like a puppy dog._ _ _

___He saddled her up and the two started out slowly. It had been a while since he last rode a horse. Everything came back to him rather quickly. He had missed this feeling._ _ _

___Looking down the hill at the beach he saw Rain on Celestial, just walking along the shoreline. Jesse had Eclipse gallop down the hill and onto the sand where he easily caught up with her. She was slouching, head down and eyes closed._ _ _

___"Darlin?"_ _ _

___Her head slowly looked up at him, those sad eyes half closed. She said nothing at all and looked so exhausted, as if she would fall out at any given second. Her long hair was down, she hadn't bothered to put it up not had she brushed it yet._ _ _

___"What's wrong?"_ _ _

___"My depression is back and I stopped taking medications for it years ago. My head hurts so bad and I'm so tired, mentally and physically." A tear streamed down her face while she spoke, "Happy?"_ _ _

___"Ah, no. I'm not happy. I won't be until you are." He made sure to keep an eye on her while they rode beside each other, lest she started to fall._ _ _

___"A few days ago when you said you didn't have friends growing up."_ _ _

___"What about it?" She snapped._ _ _

___"Didn't you try making any?" He asked._ _ _

___"All the time. No one liked me because I was quiet and ugly." She sighed, "You believe in karma?"_ _ _

___"Hell yeah I do." He sighed, "I believe the bad shit I went through is payback for all the stupid shit I did as a kid."_ _ _

___"What did you do?" She asked, already knowing the answer._ _ _

___"I was a mean kid. Becoming part of Deadlock just made me meaner for a while. I regret being the horrible person I was." He shook his head, "Anyway, you want to go back? It's about to storm."_ _ _

___The thunder was rumbling gently over the sea and the clouds were turning darker by the minute. Streaks of lightning painted the sky, striking the ocean in the distance. Storms were always so calming to Rain. It was why she came out here, to hear the thunder. She agreed to go back when it started moving closer. Putting the horses inside the barn, McCree had to pick her up halfway back to the house. She was moving so slow, the rain reached them and already they were soaked. Any other time he would have made another pun using her name but she clearly didn't need that right now._ _ _

___Once inside, he grabbed a towel and dried her hair off. He began unbuttoning her shirt, making sure she knew what he was doing before he did it. Her soaking wet clothes were taken off and the towel seeking to dry her skin. Hesitant when it came to her bra and panties, he kept looking into her eyes to make sure she was okay with him taking off the remaining garmentd. After drying her off completely, he walked to her dresser and looked for pajamas to put on her. A dark red nighty was found, nothing see through but it was rather cute and modest, not showing too much cleavage and reaching her knees. He found some panties of the same color that seemed rather comfortable. It was hard as hell not to appreciate her naked body when he turned around. He forced his attention on getting her comfortable as she looked so broken. She had lost weight from not eating as much._ _ _

___"Let me take care of dinner tonight, alright. You rest. Anything you want in particular?"_ _ _

___The shake of her head could have been easily missed if he hadn't been paying so close attention to her, "Haven't had stew in a while."_ _ _

___"We... We ate that last night."_ _ _

___"We did?"_ _ _

___"You don't remember, darlin?" He received a no, "You kept trying to make me eat the rest of it because so much was made, remember?"_ _ _

___"Oh... Yeah..." Rain swayed on her feet almost like she was dizzy, "You know what, I'm... I'm just going to lay down and skip the food."_ _ _

___"You have to eat something, at least let me go grab some crackers and water for you." He stood up and left the room when he helped her lay back onto the bed. Saltine crackers were found in the cabinet and Jesse grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Nibbling on crackers and sipping on water always helped him feel better when he felt like crap, maybe it would help her out, too. The bedroom door was closed and locked when he made it back. With no clue as to what he should do, he announced that he was leaving the crackers and water outside the door. It was silent in the room when he pressed a curious ear to the door. Surely she had fallen asleep?_ _ _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What a few people have been waiting for....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't read back over this x.x mistakes are probably everywhere.

_Through the wind and the rain_   
_She stands hard as a stone_   
_In her world that she can rise above_   
_But her dreams give her wings_   
_And she flies to a place where_   
_She's loved_   
_Concrete angel_

Her voice was quieter than usual. Lately she was singing slow, sad songs. She was standing in the kitchen, looking through an old cookbook when Jesse found her. He didn't say anything, just watched her from the distance.

Dealing with the memories were hard. Her home school teacher told her day after day, "They've all moved with their lives and here you are, stuck in the past and not moving on at all!"

If only that woman knew it wasn't as easy as moving on. After suffering physical abuse from bullies for so long, it was hard to heal. Even when the teachers knew about it, nothing was done. She tried so hard to forget but she couldn't, especially when she relived it all every night when she tried to rest.

Jerry walked into the house and stood at Jesse's side. Jesse had called him for his help, after remembering he was a nurse at one point in his life. Surely he could help her.

"She isn't sleeping and she keeps forgetting things. Complains about headaches and being dizzy a lot, too." He told the neighbor.

Jerry looked her over, "She is swaying on her feet now."

When she dropped the glass she had been holding and collapsed to the floor, both ran over to her aid. Jerry motioned for Jesse to stand back and felt of her pulse.

"Her heart rate is up."

"Jerry?" Her eyes opened and looked up at him, "Where are we?"

"Sweetie, we are in your kitchen. You passed out just now."

"I did?" She closed her eyes and a tear fell down her cheek, "I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't cry." Jerry looked up at Jesse, "She is exhausted, fatigued. A good night's rest and a big meal should help her get back to normal."

"She said she felt depressed the other day." 

"Fatigue is a common symptom of mental health issues like depression." He sighed, lifting her up and taking her to her room. Both of the men helped her get changed out of the jeans and shirt and settled into a new set of pajamas. She gazed up at him with her sad eyes, pleading for any sort of help, "Jesse and I are going to cook you something and let you sleep, alright? Try to rest while we fix you something."

She nodded and closed her eyes. Jerry and Jesse both walked down stairs to the kitchen where they tried to figure out something for her to eat.

"She cries at night, locks the door so I can't get in." Jesse's voice was full of defeat. He wanted to help her but he had no clue as to how. There wasn't any way he could take her pain away so she could rest properly.

"Nightmares."

"Huh?"

"She has nightmares about what happened to her in school. Sometimes they are every night. I honestly thought she was healing..."

Jesse started measuring the sushi rice, then measured out the water and started boiling it. One thing Rain loved to eat was sushi rice in a small scoop wrapped up in seaweed. Surely she would eat that. She never turned down rice wraps.

"When she was in school, she had a crush. She told this crush that she liked him and he turned her down. After, she started getting bullied to the point of abuse. She was pushed down stairs, had gum thrown in her hair. She had to cut it short and she never liked having her hair short. The making fun became too much and she tried to kill herself."

Jesse stirred the rice while he listened to the story.

"She slit her wrists but her parents came home early that day. They almost lost her but managed to save her. She went back to school and this guy she was in love with saw these scars and actually told her she didn't try hard enough."

Jesse's eyes widened once realization hit him...

_"Oh darlin, looks like you didn't try hard enough!"_

Her eyes...

'Lorraine Belle.'

"Rain is Lorraine Belle..."

'LorRAINe Belle...'

He knew those eyes looked familiar...

One day she just stopped coming to school, the rumor was that she had finally killed herself. He remembered that day in class, hearing that she had actually succeeded in taking her own life. The news made him pause, that was when he realized what a horrible person he was.

He wanted to take away her pain when this whole time _he_ was the cause of all of her suffering...

She heard his name and remembered everything. It all came back after she had managed to heal.

"She was broken, still is. This guy was the only one she had ever fallen for and he turned her down with cruel and hurtful words. Rain was in love with him for forever so it took a long time to convince herself to tell him in the first place. I can't even begin to imagine the embarrassment and pain she felt." Jesse stopped stirring and looked at Jerry after he stopped speaking, "Hey, you alright?"

"The rice is done, I'm... Just... Just going to check on Rain." He ran up the stairs, skipping three steps on his way. The cowboy ran straight into the bedroom and saw her in her tank top and sleep shorts, sitting on the side of the bed. Without even thinking, Jesse ran and fell to his knees in front of her. His hands grabbed hers and flipped them over. The scars were there. They were faint but they were there. 

Instantly, he buried his face in her lap. He was never one to cry but he had that thick pain in his chest that was breaking him. Loud breaths escaped him as it was hard to breathe with this harsh ache.

"Lorraine!" He used her actual name, "I am so, so sorry. For everything, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, darlin. I was a foolish kid. I had no idea the damage I was causing you! Please forgive me! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

Cold fingertips touched his face, making him look up into her eyes, "Do you mean it?"

"I do." He repeated himself while looking directly into her eyes, lifting a hand up to press against her chest over her heart, "I'm so sorry, darlin..."

And just like that...

...The pain was gone.

The pain was gone but she still felt she would have a hard time trusting him.

"You're everything to me. I..." He looked down then back up, "I love you, darlin. I've loved you since I first saw you singing at the Halloween party Gabe threw. Hell, I might have loved you before then. After you stopped coming to school, something in me just didn't feel right. The desks you sat in beside me in every class caused a pain in my chest that confused the hell out of me."

Jesse kissed her wrists where the faded scars were at. All of her pain was from him, now he was going to try his best to take the pain away and replace it with happiness and love.

"When you first told me you liked me, the comment I made... I saw the light leave your eyes and it has been gone ever since. Now, I will do anything and everything to get that light back." He looked up into her eyes and saw they were just as dim as before. A faint smile was touching her lips. Jesse could not bring himself to get off of his knees. After everything he had done-

"I forgive you, Jesse McCree." She whispered, "I shouldn't but I do."

He remembered what she had said in the truck when they had left Overwatch, "You told me if you drop a plate and it shatters, a simple apology won't fix the pieces."

She remembered when she told him that. He had apologized, not knowing what it was he was apologizing for and it had ticked her off even more.

"Genji told me one time about 'Kintsugi' or somethin' along those lines. The art of precious scars, they call it. In Japan, when something is broken, they put it back together with liquid gold or silver. It teaches that broken objects are not something to hide but to display with pride." He sighed, "He said he was thinking of his ordeal with his brother as such but can't find peace in it."

Rain still looked broken, "I don't know if I will ever find beauty in my scars. Just because I forgive you doesn't mean I am not still upset over it. Letting that go takes time."

"I understand that and I will do everything in my power to help you trust me again." There was a cough at the doorway. They looked up to see Jerry with a plate of food and a big glass of water, "Jerry, sorry. I kinda got sidetracked."

"I heard." His expression was unreadable when he looked at Jesse but he directed his attention to Rain, "We made you one of your favorites!"

Both of them watched her nervously, she just gazed down at the food for a while. Both felt happiness erupt inside them when she actually picked up a small wrap and ate it.

"Lord God, I don't pray much but thank you for this!" Jerry jumped up and down. 

Rain looked at the two, realizing how bad off she must have been by their reactions to her just eating one piece of food. It was then when she realized how hungry she really was. The sick and worthless feeling was gone and she felt she was able to actually let herself eat now. She ate the entire plate of food and drank some water. Rain wanted to sleep but she was terrified the nightmares would still be there.

"Listen to me, sweat pea." Jesse looked into her eyes, "The Jesse in your nightmares is gone, he grew up. He grew up and realized that he was incredibly wrong. Now, he wants nothing more than to protect you."

Rain's eyes slowly slid shut while he spoke to her. For the first time in a long time, her body was relaxed and seemingly at peace as she slept. 

"So, you were the one. That explains why the nightmares came back at full force." Jerry was furious and it was clear he wanted to kick McCree's ass, "She told me the other day she had feelings for you but didn't know how to feel about those feelings. Now I understand why."

"Jerry, I-"

"Fix this." He interrupted.

After it was clear there were no more nightmares for the time being, Jerry gave Jesse some advice on what he should do to keep her from doing too much for the next few days. When he left, Jesse sat beside her and watched over her while she slept. At one point, she began twitching with pain written on her features. He recognized the signs of a nightmare. He stroked his fingers through her hair and placed his lips against her ear where he softly whispered.

"Dating you would be the best thing this world could offer me, darlin. I'm just not sure how to go about being with an angel, though. But I'm gonna do my best to treat you right." He nuzzled against her hair and she visibly relaxed. 

...

_"Dating you would be the best thing this world could offer me, darlin. I'm just not sure how to go about being with an angel, though. But I'm gonna do my best to treat you right."_

_He smiled at her and held his hand out for her to take. Everyone else around him faded. Jesse led her down the hallways of the school, his arm moving over her shoulders._

"I... I nearly died because of you..."

_Jesse stopped watching and looked into her eyes, "No amount of words can express how sorry I am for what I said."_

_His lips pressed against her forehead..._

...

Rain opened her eyes, sunlight shining over her from the window. Apparently she slept through the night. The sun had not been up too terribly long. Bacon was the first thing she smelled and though she was still tired, she was way better than before. Her feet moved to touch the cold floor and she made her way into the kitchen where she saw Jesse fixing breakfast.

His eyes lit up when he saw her, "Mornin, darlin!"

She blinked, not answering him. Watching him closely, his apology echoed in her mind. He was trying to fix everything he had done, "Jesse..."

"Sit down, pumpkin. It's almost ready." He was so happy this morning, worried but happy, "How do you feel?"

"Still sleepy but I feel better. That severe weight on my shoulders has lifted. I... I didn't have any nightmares last night."

The eggs and white sausage gravy was placed in front of her on the table, followed by the bacon. All of it smelled amazing and she was starving.

"I'm so glad you slept well, sweet pea." His smile was genuine, "Things will be better from now on, I promise."

"It's not easy to admit that you bullied someone, much less make up for it. So, thank you Jesse."

"I truly am going to make up for everything I have done. I truly feel terrible. If there is anything I can do, just tell me, alright?" 

"Alright..."

His eyes kept looking to her wrists, "I had no idea the battles you fought would nearly claim your life. You are far stronger than I'll ever be, to survive such a thing."

Slowly eating the bacon, Rain didn't respond. There was nothing for her to say. It was clearly making him nervous but she could not bring herself to talk about this subject. He started eating as well, a bit on edge at her silence. 

"I've done everything outside for the mornin' so you don't hafta worry about a thing." 

"Yer bein' awfully sweet."

"Just trying to fix everything. That and I may have fallen in love with ya the first night we were together...."

THAT was unexpected, she nearly choked on her piece of bacon when he said that. As nervous as he was acting, his eyes betrayed him and just told her he was being completely honest with her. With mixed feelings of her own, she figured she would be honest as well.

"In school, I was so in love with you. You were everything, even after you turned me down and treated me worse than shit." He watched her as she spoke, "It was more than a crush and I had never felt such a way for anyone before. I was confused but all of the websites I went to for advice said to tell you how I felt. The worst you could do was just say 'no' and you weren't interested.

"They had no idea you would say what you decided to say to me. After that, I started caring about how I looked and tried to get at least one compliment from you but it never worked. You just became even more hateful to me. The day you threw gum in my hair and I had to cut it was more than I could stand. My hair was the only thing elegant on me and it was gone. Short hair made my cheeks look fatter and no amount of words could comfort me. The people at the hospital wanted to keep me in the mental health section for a week and they helped me feel a bit better. Then came the first day back to school..."

Her fingertips ran over one of the scars on her arm and tears streamed down her pretty face. The shake in her voice was barely noticeable and she prayed he didn't hear it but the prayer went unanswered as he could see how broken she actually was.

"Being homeschooled was so much easier and faster. Right after I finished with everything and graduated, my parents died on the way to a call. They were EMTs, ya know. After I finally got fed up with this repetitive life, I decided to join Overwatch and the first few years were amazing. I didn't work with people and usually went on solo missions. Every year, I was invited to Gabe's Halloween party and this last year I finally went. I met a cowboy, decided to have sex with him because I never had the chance to do such things before and I've always had a damn weakness for cowboys. I should have known better than to develop feelings for him while we were fuckin' each other. Little did I know, everything that had healed would come back when he told me his name..."

Her tears came faster now and she let her head fall against the table.

"Now..." She sobbed, "I'm feeling love for you that's just as strong as the love I felt when I first saw you in school..."

The feelings were confusing. He was the one that made her life hell for the longest time, yet she still loved him. She didn't want to love him but it could not be helped. Surely someone up above was testing her, that was the only explanation for all of this. A gentle hand took hers as she cried. When she glanced up, she saw Jesse with tears in his eyes. Of course, he would never let them fall. His hand held hers, thumb caressing the back of it.

"Lorraine." Her cries tore him up inside, "Let's start over."

She sniffled, "W-what?"

"Let's start over." 

"How?"

"Ma'am," He smiled, "My name is Jesse McCree."

Their hands shifted so he was gently shaking her hand in greeting. Rain caught on to where he was getting at, "M-my name is Lorraine..."

She hadn't said her actual name in years. It felt odd but it didn't bring her pain anymore. Maybe she was recovering. She did miss her old name and how she used to be.

"Lorraine, I'd like to ask you out if that's alright with you." 

A nod was given to him, "O-okay... I guess I can try."

...

Rest and recovery, that's what Angela had texted McCree and told him about Rain's current issue. He was happy to do the farm work for her. A few times, he got irritated when she would get up and try to feed the horses herself but he couldn't blame her for wanting to feel useful. She was eating better and sleeping better. A few times when he checked on her, she was crying in her sleep but a few comforting words from him helped her to relax again. Now, Jesse was the one having nightmares, reliving her pretty face when it lost all hope after he turned her down all those years ago. That was when he would wake up and check on her. After seeing her relaxed and sound asleep, he was able to sleep better.

Every day, he would do small things to make her happy. A simple smile from her would make his heart race. Each day she seemed a bit happier. Until today, when she came up to him in the barn and pressed a kiss to his cheek. She was still a bit weak but was almost recovered. McCree still wouldn't let her do any heavy lifting or any of the hard work around the farm. The woman seemed content, though.

The quick kiss she gave him caught him by surprise and he couldn't help but notice how cute she happened to look in the red flannel patterned tank top, blue jean booty shorts, and cowboy boots. The hat completed the look. He didn't want to appear as if he were only helping her just to get laid so he shifted his pants around and thought of something that would make his little problem go away.

'Think of something sad or depressing to make the boner go away.... Dead kittens, dead puppies.... Ah, there we go.'

"Jesse."

The way she said his name, he had to concentrate even harder, "Yes, darlin?"

"Ride with me."

"Mmkay."


End file.
